The Day My Sobriety Began

It seems like yesterday that I was sitting in the ICU screaming for someone to help me as my bed alarm went off. I was in there for the third time in my life and having hallucinations from the mixture of alcohol withdrawal and Ativan they were pumping me full to stop the seizures and D.T.’S that came with alcohol withdrawal. I thought my life was over at that point and I was just going to die another statistic. Another addict who died. That is what I thought at that moment and I could always only think about, if I ever got sober the insurmountable things I would have to do just to get my life to NORMAL.

I had done so many things I would of never done sober and regretted them all. I hurt so many people to this point and most of them were the people I loved the most and who cared about me the most. I lost everyone to this point. My parents wanted nothing to do with me until I was sober. All my friends stopped talking to me and the one person I had left, my fiancé had just dropped me off at the Emergency room and told me I was on my own and she couldn’t handle it anymore. I was lucky they even admitted me to the hospital. I couldn’t walk when I got there.

I was drinking close to a gallon of vodka daily and if I stopped drinking, I started getting withdrawal symptoms quickly. The day my She dropped me off I had nothing to drink and was in withdrawal something awful. When the nurses came out and brought me into the E.R. I quickly told them what was going on with me and they informed me they didn’t treat alcohol withdrawal there, but they would get me an I.V. and have me seen by a doctor. It took about 40 stabs and ten different nurses to finally hit a vein, because I was so dehydrated. After a while they took my blood and a doctor came back with the results and told me they were admitting me because I had low potassium.

As soon as I went up they took me to the ICU and started me on Ativan. A different doctor came in and she said you’re too young for this shit you’re going to die. I knew then at that point that Doctor had admitted me to help me with my withdrawal. Thank God he did because that was the beginning of my sobriety, four year later I’m sitting at my desk writing this. I have been sober for four years. I have three beautiful children, with one on the way. I have a great job and life is good. Every second of addiction I thought that was it for me and I wouldn’t be able to overcome it.

I was depressed had given up and thought society would always label me an addict. I realized after I started telling my story to people at work and people I met that I could actually help and inspire other people struggling with addiction and maybe someone will read my blogs and see they are not alone and that they too can overcome this monster that is addiction. I hope to share my story and share inspirations through this blog and I hope someone is able to realize they have the power to overcome and to live a happy sober life too!