Addiction is not a life sentence.

Addiction does seem like it is when you are going through it though. It seems like its never ending and it takes over your whole being. I was addicted for many years. It took almost everything from me and after a certain point in my addiction, after everyone in my life was gone and my whole life was about whatever substance I was hooked on, I started to believe that this was it. This was my life and there was no getting out of it or ever coming back from this. I would start having thoughts run through my head every second of everyday. I would have thoughts about all the people I had hurt and had lost out of my life.

I would start thinking about where I was before I became and addict and would think how insurmountable it seemed to ever get back to that point. All the flood of thoughts would creep into my mind which led me to end up saying there is no way out I might as well just keep going till I die like this. I used to think those thoughts always. I never thought I would be anything or anyone. I thought the light that God gave me when I was brought into this world was out and I no longer had anything to offer anyone. I felt that I was a burden on everyone I was around or met and I truly accepted the face that before thirty I was going to die and addict.