Fatherly Sadness

What a title to give this post. I don’t know if anyone else experiences this or if it’s just me but I have a feeling it’s pretty universal with men actively trying to not only be the best version of themselves, but trying to be the best husband, father, friend, brother, son that you can possibly be. It’s a lonely road and along the way there is far and few people to give you a pat and the back a reassure you that you’re doing great! There is no playbook when you become a dad, especially if you didn’t have a good man in your household to look up to growing up.

It just happens one day and you’re gifted the best title in the world, DAD. It’s the best feeling ever but the pressure that comes with it, is not for the faint of heart. You wonder all the time am I doing enough? Did I give my kids enough attention today? Am I open enough with them that they pour their hearts out to me? Do I let my everyday struggles bleed out and they sense there is something wrong? The questions go on and on in my mind always. I think about my kids and my wife every second I’m not with them yet I try to focus on the now, the present moment even if that’s struggling through a rough day at work.

Their faces keep me going and give me a drive and a will I never experienced before, but weekly I find myself lost in my mind questioning how great of a father I am and other than my own father to turn to, there isn’t a lot of people for me to bounce these feelings off of and get some reassurance that I need. We men provide for our families, we protect our families from things seen and unseen. We are alone a lot and it truly can give you a very sad empty feeling that can sometimes isolate you and tear the happiness right from your heart. Then I remember John 3:16.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” WOW, that kind of love. To think about how deeply and dearly I love my children. To think how I’d lay my own life on the line, if it meant my children could live one second longer and to think are all mighty creator in heaven sent his only son to die for our sins so that we never perish but have everlasting life with him. To know the someone loves you that much and to know Jesus is always in your heart, always with you every step of this journey, every struggle, every hard day, every doubt.

He’s there. Remembering that and feeling that kind of love not only lifts me up and dries my tears of both sadness and doubt, but it gives me so much strength and love and grace to pass on to my children and to spread to every father I can reach and let us know God made us in his image to be the best Fathers we can possibly be and to lighten this world one great father at a time! Keep on being great Dads, keep on being the light your kids and others need you to be and pass on from generation to generation the playbook our father in heaven has written on to our hearts! Stay strong and never doubt the man God made you to be!